Meditations on Psalm 139

I wrote this on a Friday night when I had absolutely no plans. Sitting by myself in the dorm is the loneliest feeling for me, and it happens more often than I'd like. This particular evening, I had tried EVERYTHING to chase away the boredom blues, from going to my favorite coffee shop to read Redeeming Love for the fourth time to watching the Bourne Identity. It wasn't until about ten 'o clock that I realized that I just needed to spend some time rediscovering the love that Jesus has for me. So I prayed that God would give me a renewed perspective on one of my favorite passages of scripture, Psalm 139. This is what Jesus spoke into my loneliness:

"You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me." 

You might think that it'll be the most awesome thing ever to be known by a man of God, but I've got one better: I have already taken the time, since before you were born, to search out your heart and know it. I know just how to show you that you're loved, beloved. I speak you love language fluently. And I speak it constantly! Even when you aren't listening to me, I'm  whispering words of love in your ear.

"Before a word is on my tongue 

   you, LORD, know it completely. "

I hear you when you talk to me. I hear you even before you talk to me! I even hear the things you don't know how to say! I love you enough to listen all the time, not just when you've worked hard to captivate my attention. Beloved, you don't have to put forth any effort to receive my  full attention and love.

"You hem me in behind and before, 

   and you lay your hand upon me."

I know you long for affection from a godly man. But what you don't realize is that the God-man, me, is loving on you with every breeze, every drop of rain, every ray of sunshine, and the touch of every soft blade of grass. My hand is always on you, beloved. No man can fulfill your need for affection the way I can. No man can even come close.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? 

   Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

   if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me, 

   your right hand will hold me fast."

I am always ready to spend time with you, always available to hear about your day, your hopes and fears, your successes and your failures. In fact, I'm pursuing you so hard, there is nowhere you can go that I won't be right there, supporting you, loving you, and speaking truth over you.

"If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me 

   and the light become night around me,” 

even the darkness will not be dark to you; 

   the night will shine like the day, 

   for darkness is as light to you."

You are safe with me. I am almighty God, ruler of heaven and earth. No power of hell or mankind can tear you away from me. With me, no one and nothing will ever harm you. I am the only one who can promise that. Please, lean into me for protection from all that you fear. You don't need to keep searching. You already have the best, beloved.

"For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 

   I know that full well."

I have called you by name, and you belong to me. I have set you apart from all others and handcrafted your beautiful being perfectly. You are enthralling, beloved. Absolutely beautiful in my sight. And because of what I've done for you, when I gave my life as a ransom for your soul, you are pure and holy in my eyes. I have given you my name, and you are a new being, fearfully and wonderfully made.

"Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

   before one of them came to be."

I have every day planned out for you. You long for a man of God to spend time planning a date to take you on, to show you that you are special. But I have done one better: I have planned out every day, from the beginning of time to all eternity, to spend with you, guiding you and loving you with mercy and grace.

Beloved, you can't do any better than me! I want you to give me your whole heart, soul, and mind. You belong to me, beloved. Stop chasing the second best thing and fall in love with me. Worship me with your life. Don't shame me by giving your worship to a man I created! He does not deserve your whole heart! I do. Beloved, one day, if I so choose, I may place you in the arms of an earthly lover, a husband to have and hold you for a lifetime. That will please me, to see you well loved and happy, so long as you still belong, heart, mind, and soul, to me. But always remember: marriage is temporary. It lasts but one lifetime. Your relationship with me, that's eternal. Please, beloved. Let me love you.